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Welcome to The

by Gates of Joe

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1.
(One for the father, one for the son, and one for the holy ghost) Jesus was playing freeze tag on Old Man Pilate's lawn And there were twelve disciples with the baptist in the John Enter Old Man Pilate, he said, "Get away, you queers" They turned the other cheek and showed the man their rears And we sang-a (Chorus) Hey there Jay, I like the way you move Jesus, my friend, you can really groove Hey there Jay with your bell-shaped pants Roll away your stone and let's do a little dance Well the next time I saw Jesus he was working as a scientist When a young man came along, a young evangelist He said, "But Jesus, I thought that science was a big no-no" Jesus said, "Son, I healed the blind, I did not make them so" And we sang-a (Chorus) Jesus climbed up on Capitol Hill and he didn't like what he saw He grabbed that big ol' gavel and he laid down his funky law He said, "All y'all go jump in the mud and then you'll look the same Sink all this partisanship, it's pretty legis-lame" And we sang-a (Chorus) We sang-a Cause my Jesus likes to dance and maybe yours likes to sing My Jesus has sinned before but he always does his thing My Jesus owns the Quran and no thing made of silk When he's at the dinner table he turns water to milk (Chorus)
2.
Saw the last great Jellyphant with purple tusks and might Thought I'd ride that creature to a mountain in my sight But it was shot by the Persnix, it cried out pitifully For they needed the beast's ears for the sandwich industry (Chorus) Squeezed great mother to the bone, Now Persnix don't have a home Felled by fear and sold for free She waits in the crotch of the last green tree Payed my dues to jelly, the last of the Jellyphants Began to climb old great Mt. Grak where stalked the Shnoos and Shnents At the top I'd chase these hopping beasts, gave tummy rubs to each But when I reached the mountain top, there was no top to reach (Chorus) Climbed on down that mountain, the one missing a peak Climbed down to the tar sands where the Smam swam in the creek But when I reached the bottom I once again was foiled The tar sands were gone up in smoke, the creek ran black with oil At home there was chaos, there was smog and smoky cars I felt the heat of the sun at night, but I could not see the stars I released a dove to go find land in this flood of toxic things It returned with plastic in its mouth and oil blacked its wings
3.
4.
Open up my head to look at what's inside and See that it's a pile of shit Everything I say, at least everything you hear is Coming from a pointless pit Maybe it's my fault and maybe it's not cause I wasn't always like that Got a piece of paper, told me what I'm worth, yeah Maybe I'll live up to that (Chorus) Hey my friend, hey my friend, look at what I found Look at me, look at me, maybe you'll see it Hey my friend, hey my friend, look I found my brain But you see, but you see, I don't really need it I don't go to school I've never read a book and Never seen a pencil Never told a lie and none of that's the truth cause Everything's believable Look at what you taught me, look at what I've learned I can count to ten Tell me that's inadequate, tell me there's another guy Who can use a pen (Chorus) Maybe you're a bad kid, maybe you're hopeless Maybe you'll waste our time Here's a free pass to do what you want with I hope you find a job in time I'll be what you want, I'll be a perfect soul and I will be your sponge Soak up everything and squeeze me back out I'll shrivel like a snail in the sun (Chorus)
5.
Well I was born in the year of the horse On a telescope in Arizona of course My distance huge, my movement slow Thought I might stay hid for an eon or so Clyde Tombaugh, my father, my flame Thanks to your blink I am a household name Put me in the papers, number nine is here Then you stab me in the back and I disappear (Chorus) Neil the astrophysicist's claims Brought about my trans-neptunian pain Sit in your chair and read the news And I'll tell you all about my Kuiper Belt blues My orbit long, my surface cold Crossin' Jupiter's brother, you might call me bold I'm round but my neighborhood's crowded as hell And I couldn't clear it out, old Tyson did tell Charon, my brother, we are transfixed To a point in between us called the River Styx Hydra, Kerberos, my dragon and dog Spin around me in the icy fog (Chorus)
6.
(Chorus) Mr. Gates, you're a time machine Take me to a time I've never seen Grade the papers, take the roll, Take me back, save my soul Mr. Gates, you're a time machine take me to a time I've never seen He said grab hold of my moustache He whisked us off into the past We went to 1845 and we were destined for war With Mexico, you know, what is it good for? And all along the Rio Grande their soldiers killed us dead But no one knew whose soil it was where our blood was shed Now our invasion was begun on contested evidence That didn't cease the gears of war and it hasn't since No contested evidence, yes no fake double UMD's Will stop unjust aggression and manifest destiny We had read no Thoreau, at least not thoroughly For we waged an unjust war and woe is we We ignored the burning bush that signed for us to flee So they took to the streets burning bush in effigy (Chorus) The big stick of Theodore, well it has stuck Old Theodore's been dronin' on and Yemen better duck Obama's been a dronin' so we flew to Yemen Where a drone was headed for an innocent civilian Joe Gates flew up in the air and the Yemenis amassed Watched him catch that missile and he flung it to the past He emerged unscathed and he touched down upon pavement He said never again destroy a village in order to save it (Chorus) Anthony Weiner was in need of some good advice On how to handle scandal caused by his unlucky vice We found Thomas Jefferson and boy we brought him back For he did keep his job when his sex scandal looked most black We saw Shay's rebellion 'gainst the new institution It was not a sight for those with a weak constitution Democracy can take a while to get itself set The Arab spring has started, but it ain't winter yet Youthful misadventures we must remember as we get older For how can you change lanes if you ain't lookin' over your shoulder?
7.
Way, way down south where there was only doom Down in the desert a boy stepped out the womb Looked at the stars, a long way away they seemed Call him Soñar, cause boy he had a dream Nighttime exodus, little boy and he's a Bright sunrise but there was no sonrisa Oh, he had chiclé, no visa, no papers Went down to the big house for a job as a landscaper Soñar, clear the windows, the owner could not see Soñar went outside and chopped that cherry tree Oh, Soñar chopped that cherry tree Like George Washington, as American as can be A good day's wage, what he was dreaming of The landscapers wouldn't give him no love Soñar went to the farm to pick up the slack The hunger of a nation on his aching back Nighttime exodus, little boy and he's a Bright sunrise but there was no sonrisa
8.
Angry Song 03:41
9.
Medusa Luna 10:38
Stone up in the night sky floating By her earthen weight Scars adorn the windless face like Scores of dried out lakes Seas of ice beneath the surface Held by dust of space Crack the earth, release the oceans Wash across the place Frozen bodies lost in slumber Sheets of ancient ice Flares of heat released from sun Disrupt their way of life Solar storms and sonic waves shake Tethers to the core Break the ties to stagnant ways Waves lap lunar shores Overrun by swarms of jams Awakened from the cold Time to take their space rock back to What it was before Seas of floating animals with Death spelled on their spines Swim across their moon and sift The glassen sands of time

about

Recorded in Denton, NC in early June 2014 by the band.

credits

released July 18, 2014

Felix Allen//drums
Turner Cain//bass
Chase Hatcher//guitar, vox

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about

Gates of Joe Raleigh, North Carolina

Three friends from Raleigh, NC. Feel free to contact us for whatever reason. We love people.

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